"Kiss Me"

I had a rather uneventful Chuseok this year. I spent most of my time relaxing and attending a couple events which I will post about later.

There was one incident that has ingrained itself in my mind these last few days.

On Thursday, my girlfriend and I decided to relax in the park nearby her apartment. We spent the day lying in the shade and enjoying the amazing autumn weather. I urged her to play badminton later on - something we love to do, but haven't found the time. Unable to find an empty badminton court,  we hiked to the top of the nearby hill which has two, less frequented, badminton courts at the top.

They too, were occupied and we sat on a picnic bench awaiting our turn to play. While chit-chatting, my girlfriend hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek, which was immediately followed by a 30-something year old Korean man yelling to us. He approached and started talking loudly to which I just kept replying "I don't know what you're saying" and looked at my girlfriend for some advice. She just stared at the man, and whispered to me "I think he's drunk and crazy..."

The man asked if I was from England, Canada, or the US, and when I replied "U.S.A." he kept babbling on in more Korean.

It turns out he was angry at my girlfriend for kissing me in public, and said  "even though I am drunk, and I know your boyfriend is American and doesn't understand, you should behave better, should have more respect, and be more proper." He yelled at the teenagers playing nearby that they should have told us to behave properly and that they were stupid for not speaking up.  (Read this to know more about Korea and PDA)

An older man tried to calm the drunk man down, apologized to us and tried to walk him away, but he came back and yelled at us some more. He told us if we wanted to behave like that we should go get a motel room, and basically called my girlfriend a whore.

Next came the scary part. He stumbled over to the nearby chain-link fence and picked up an aluminum baseball bat. He started swinging it in anger against the fence, yelling at us some more. Another adult took the bat from him, and the older man told us to walk away - which we did.

As we walked away my girlfriend finally spoke up and told him "You're pathetic and miserable because you don't have a girlfriend!" and "fine! you want us to go to a motel room, that's where we're going now!" (great, I thought, now he's going to get mad and come after us!)

But he didn't and we walked away unharmed but a little angry and shaken.

A little while later as we were leaving the park, we saw a police car leaving and passerby's saying that a drunk man was being taken away. Hopefully it was the same guy - but finding a drunk man in Korea is as easy as finding sand on a beach.

A million thoughts ran through my head afterward. "Why was he so angry?" "What could I have done if he started swinging at us?" "Why didn't anyone speak up against him?"

First, in Korea you really shouldn't kiss in some public places. People do, but especially not in front of the elderly. This man wasn't elderly, he was just drunk - and a peck on the cheek isn't cause for alarm.

Secondly, why is he so upset? I think it's because I'm a foreigner and he is jealous that I'm dating a Korean. Korea has plenty of prostitute areas, kissing rooms, "special massage" parlors where men and women go all the time. Many Korean men cheat on their girlfriends and wives - yet we're the ones "in the wrong"? Hypocritical if you ask me.

Lastly, what could I do? If I get into an altercation with the man I'm liable to loose my job. Basically, Koreans are right, and foreigners are wrong. It doesn't really matter who starts what, others will generally NOT come to you defense, and the police will probably take YOU away. If it was his word against mine, I would probably lose. In this case, if something did happen, at least there were witnesses. Sometimes I just have to suck it up, hold back my emotions, and just take whatever abuse. But in a case of self-defense, or defense of my girlfriend - I wouldn't stand by without taking action if push came to shove. If I lose my job because I'm protecting myself or her, I would fight it to the end, and if I lost - I wouldn't want to stay in a country where I'm at wrong for doing what is right without just cause.

What would you do?