"The Power of Love"

I stumbled across this article published in the Korea Times. I think it does an excellent job talking about being gay in Korea and the ostracism and lack of understanding that it seems to exist in this very conservative culture. (and sadly as well as my own)

Basically the saying is: "There are no gay people in Korea." - meaning, even if you are gay, they either 1. have no clue what gay is, 2. refuse to accept that Koreans can be gay, or 3. a sarcastic response by people like me who know or have met gay Koreans or even have students that I can tell are still in the closet.

I thought this topic was something that many people do not know about, (or even approve of), but as a human rights supporter, and with the momentum being made with President Obama's extension on hate crime legislation, I felt this was as good a time as any to discuss it.

 

The article is below. 

PLEASE SUPPORT THE HRC!

By Matthew Klauber
Contributing Writer



Article Link
 
On Fridays and Saturdays after the sun goes down, both Korean and foreign gay residents begin to trickle into Itaewon from all over Seoul and parts beyond. They are businessmen and university students, English teachers and soldiers, mostly but not exclusively young men.

They come to socialize, openly about their sexuality in the only place that allows it in a still highly conservative, Confucian society. Social space has classified them as outsiders, along with foreigners and the sometimes disreputable businesses that cater to them.

It has cordoned them into grimy alleys that worm behind the flickering neon and newly refurbished facades of Itaewon's main drag, into clubs that seem to have been carved out of worn brick and cinderblock structures eerily redolent of 20th-century Seoul's poverty and war.

``Some people protect gay people and love them,'' said a 23-year-old bartender who asked to be identified by his English name, Nathaniel. Nathaniel, with artfully coiffed hair and posh attire, works at Queen, one of the most prominent and enduring of Itaewon's gay bars.

Queen is large, bright, well-maintained and tastefully decorated. Its core clientele is comprised of gay men and their straight female friends, though others are welcome as well. ``Especially straight girls... Some straight women in Korea like gay men, but no straight men. It is sad,'' he said.

Despite the hopes expressed by many young Korean gay people, there has been little direct change in public discourse on the issue of sexual minorities, only gathering momentum on the fringes of society.

Membership in gay student unions, for example, has steadily increased since the early 1990s, and the legal system has become steadily more supportive of sexual minorities, as with the Korean Supreme Court's 2006 decision allowing post-operative transgendered people to legally change their sex.

Gays are receiving more attention from the entertainment industry, as well. For instance, movies with same-sex content, such as ``Wang Ui-namja,'' ``BB Mountain,'' or recently, ``Hello My Love,'' all gathered significant controversy as they ran their course.

The off-screen attention, however, has sometimes been negative, as with the coverage of gay television actor Kim Ji-Hoo's suicide in 2008. Gays in Korea also face potential ostracism at work and in most venues of public life, outside of a few cosmopolitan industries such as fashion, the arts, and cosmetics.

In yet another sign of Korea's well-known generation gap, there has been a growing consciousness of, and less frequently, acceptance of, homosexuality among Korea's tech-savvy and increasingly cosmopolitan youth. Many young gays are impatient for the increased freedom they know exists in the West and Japan, and express a desire to travel and even live abroad.

``Tokyo is famous. Kyoto is too,'' Nathaniel reported. ``Many Korean people live in Hokkaido.''

Japan, close to home, with a large Korean population already, is a popular destination among Korean gays.

``Why would you go to Korea and not Japan?'' was a question that puzzled You-jeong about his Western customers. The 20 year-old, whose bold demeanor is belied by his slender build and tastefully colorful attire, tends bar at SoHo, down the road from Queen.

``Korea is a very conservative society. I would like to live in Tokyo,'' he said. The cosmopolitan outlook of many younger, urban Koreans is voiced even more strongly by young gays like You-jeong. ``I like Korean men, Japanese men, Western, all kinds. I just care about the person.''

You-jeong came out with his sexuality in high school, to his family, fellow students and everyone else in his life. He reported some confusion but little serious harassment.



Older Koreans are far more reticent to come out, or even to speak on the record, with a few notable exceptions. One of the most notable, of course, is Hong Seok-chun, the actor who lost his career when he came out in 2000. He started a business in Itaewon, the now-famous restaurant Our Place.

It became successful, and Hong opened several more Asian and Western restaurants in the district. He has since reappeared on television as a gay hairdresser on a popular soap opera and is now opening a club called My Bad.

Hong is as impressed with the pace of change in Korea as younger gays are impatient with it. ``Yes, of course, it's changed a lot,'' he said. ``These days you can meet a lot of gay people in the street and they are not shy anymore.'' Still, he admits, many stay in the closet. ``As a gay in Korea, they feel ashamed, and try to hide it from their family and things like that. They feel insecure.''

It was Hong's former boyfriend, a Dutch national, who helped him overcome his own sense of shame. ``He said, `You should know that you are a beautiful person... You have a good heart.' He changed my character.''

Moreover, parents of gay children in Korea often respond with denial and anxiety. ``I think all the parents of gay kids are worried about their kids' careers. They worry about how they will survive in this conservative society.'' Hong's own parents simply refused to accept that he was gay at first, and asked him when he would marry a woman for years after he told them.

``I think the gay issue is not that big of an issue because of what happened with me,'' among other things, Hong said. ``Still, we have to keep fighting. It takes time. But I am willing to do that, I will fight.''

Gay Koreans describe their lives less as sad than confined and secretive. The string of bars and nightclubs known to habitu?s as 'homo hill' and its outliers are the hub of gay life in Korea. There is reputedly a smaller circle of bars in the Gwanghwamun area, quieter and more private, open mainly to Korean regulars and their guests. Outside of Seoul, with the exception of a handful of bars in Busan and some sites on the Internet, there is nothing.

matthew.klauber@gmail.com

 

Also, if you haven't seen "MILK", I highly recommend it. The most touching movie I have seen this year.  

"Who Let the Dogs Out?"

Wow it has been a very quick week. I suppose time flies when you only teach 3 classes in a week! Students had final exams this week so they had half-days and Jordan and I only had to teach on Friday.

Due to the half-days, I had the opportunity to utilize my free time in more productive ways. On Tuesday, my co-teacher Kimberly escorted me to help me purchase a cell phone. I decided on buying from the LG store called OZ - a popular chain close to my apartment. With LG I didn't need to purchase a 2 year contract like you are forced to with the biggest chain, SK Telecom. You can also purchase pre-paid phones and add minutes, but it tends to be a hassle and I was limited to one cheap phone that looked like grandmothers probably used it. I also had the option of renting the phone, but I would need to travel to an LG office somewhere to do paperwork and other hassles, so I decided not to go that route. Instead, I purchased a pretty nice phone called "Sky" for $40 - Koreans get them free with plans, but as I was signing a 1 year contract, I had to purchase the phone. I've heard horror stories about foreigners buying cell phones as most store policies forbid them to sell to us white folk. I think it is because some people skip out on paying their bills when they leave. We foreigners also have to pay a registration fee of $30. The monthly plan is $13 a month, but I got up to 3,000 internet page views added for $6 a month (it's nice to be able to access weather, subway, and other info when traveling! Calls are about 5 cents a minute in $US and texts are about 2 cents each. Much cheaper than home. All in all, I think my monthly fees will only be about $20.

After getting the phone I offered to buy Kimberly lunch, but she refused and told me she had to treat me as she didn't get to yet and it was her obligation. I wasn't going to argue, but felt bad when she suggested we got to Outback. (it's very pricey for the area) and Outback in Korea isn't even close to the ones back in the States. I had a "steak" which was a large, slightly less compacted seasoned hamburger. The fries were excellent though, and we got onion rings - they were coated and fried in coconut, so it had a sickening sweetness to it after the second one. In keeping with the sweetness, they also served the typical bread, but the butter was flavored raspberry, mango, and peach - and they also brought out raspberry syrup, chocolate syrup, and blue cheese dressing. Kind of silly - but it was nice to have some blue cheese dressing, as I haven't seen it here yet. Kimberly had a seafood quesadilla - I tried it, it was pretty good and had octopus, shrimp, and squid in it. I have never heard of a seafood version, but they do have a beef one as well (which I will get next time I go).

I tagged along with Jordan on Wednesday after school to Itaewon or "Foreign Owned Korea". There were many westerners walking around as there is a military base right nearby. It is popular with tourists, but nothing to really write home about (but I will anyways). The main street was full of western restaurants, but the side streets were very unique and had an older feel of what Korea used to be like. The vendors everywhere were talking in English trying to get you to buy "very nice suit for you to be handsome", or a "pretty leather purse for girlfriend".

A main street view in Itaewon - note that sign on the right says "Transgender Club"

We found a foreign food market where I bought some overpriced treats. Kraft Mac and Cheese, Root Beer, and Cherry Coke! Later in the week Jordan and I made root beer floats for our Korean teachers. Some loved it, and none had ever had root beer. Others made a weird face and opted for the cherry coke floats instead.

Thursday it down-poured all day long. I'm sure all of you back home can sympathize because I've heard it has been one of the wettest summers you can recall in a while. Here when it rains hard - it rains HARD. The drops are bucket sized, and it doesn't rain down - it rains sideways. I brought my large umbrella (yes, I have 2) and I still got soaked. After work I swam out to meet up with Jordan and one of the music teachers. We went to the Indian restaurant, as we heard Koreans don't like the spice of Indian food and were testing our theory out on this poor girl! She actually enjoyed it - but to our defense, it is Korean-Indian food - not the same American-Indian food we get back home. The curry they use is pretty similar to the ones they use in Korean dishes.

I got to learn a lot about Koreans from the music teacher though. She was talking about how she used to work as a music therapist but was too stressed and not happy, and how she would rather teach. She commutes 2 hours EACH WAY to work at our school, but wants to move closer. She is my age, but like most Korean women, lives at home until she's married. Her family will move closer to school to make her happy as she is always tired from the commute and actually had an accident when she fell asleep while driving. She also discussed dating and relationships, and how you can find out a lot about a person by asking their blood type. I've never heard of this phenomenon. But apparently it is a way to tell personality. According to her, type O is the best, A is good and B is good too, but AB is not. She said a lot of crazy and psycho people are AB, so she won't date someone who is AB. (good thing I am B, so at least I stand a chance if that opportunity arises! hahaha) MikeR found a little article on this that explains it better. Click here to read.

Another thing about Koreans are their dating practices. Men are supposed to tell the girl where they are going and what they are doing. It is a society with more traditional gender roles, and this shows that "man has confidence". I argued with her on the practice though, and asked in broken basic English "What if woman no like restaurant? Bad date = bad boyfriend?" she said no, but the Korean women will tell the men that they are unhappy with a restaurant, but this can lead to fights and breakups. So my argument was "Why not ask the woman or let her choose which restaurant so everyone is happy?!" She didn't have a good answer besides the previous one.

Lastly, we discussed cheating. In Korea it is illegal to cheat on a spouse, and if a man/woman gets caught and the significant other catches them, they can call the police, but both the cheater and the "other man/woman" both get arrested. Interesting practice, but I don't think it curbs cheating - I think it just makes women not turn in cheating husbands because they are more of the providers and family income than the women here.

This brings up another topic. I needed a haircut, and asked Jordan where to go. He pointed out a building and said that this building (with a barbers pole) is where he goes and to go to the 4th floor. I wandered up to the 4th floor and there was a very dark room with a sign that said Sam's Barbershop. A woman answered clad is a very skimpy outfit. Apparently Barber Poles = "massage parlor" and most often the scorned upon kind. I found out later that the real salon that Jordan goes to is on the 3rd floor, but my issue is this: Why do they have prosecutable laws against cheating, but openly allow these massage parlors that don't even try to make it look like they are a reputable business like a barbershop. There was one barber chair in that dark room, many black lights and dark curtains and very little clothing. (and she wasn't even attractive!)

Friday after school was the Male Teacher Dinner somewhere out in Anyang. The restaurant was out in the middle of nowhere, nestled between two mountains with a comforting stream running right near the main building. The best part was we ate outside under large tarps along a little waterfall. The food was excellent. They served a large stewed chicken for me, and dog -- yes DOG, for everyone else. I kept telling them my sister has 4 dogs and she will be angry if I eat dog. They understand though. I asked what kind of dog. Golden retriever? Poodle? They said and I quote: "No, no, no Nick...not pet --- EDIBLE dog."All dogs go to heaven in Korea (after being boiled in a pot) but all dogs are not seen as pets only unlike back home.

Yep, that is dog! (poor poochie!)

Here is a lesson learned: When you try to be respectful of Korean custom and go shot to shot with 7 Korean men, you will lose. And besides that you will be completely trashed and have to be helped to your apartment by a rather thin Korean coworker half your size. They were so fun though, trying to teach me Korean, customs, and rules. Most of them were drunk as well except the driver (which is rare here), and we had a blast. The principal (who all the women teachers are afraid of) kept telling me "Nick very good friend" and wanted to have dinner with me and his daughter who is 23 and attending the University of Miami next year. Sounds like I'm either getting set up, or he wants me to give her tips before going to an American university. (Maybe Aunt Maureen can take her out sometime as I don't think Miami is too far from Ft. Lauderdale?)

Here are all the Korean male teachers that attended - 4 of them are PhysEd teachers, a Chinese writing teacher, a Korean teacher, and the principal.

YOU CAN SEE MORE PICTURES OF THESE EVENTS HERE

I'm still recovering from last night and dizzy spells from all the Hite beers, Soju and "Ginseng Mountain Wine" - aka alcohol from hell. I wouldn't feel this bad if there were some sort of carbs served with dinner. They have rice with every other dish in Korea, why not the day I decide to drink about 12 shots!