"Rocketman - Part 2"

I had posted in December on an ESL teacher and comic artist named Luke Martin who posts his creations about Korean culture from the eyes of just about every expat at his site: Roketship

Here are a few more favorites:

 

I love being immune to the effects of the annoying solicitors simply because I'm white. It's a nice perk not having to be approached. However, they sometimes seem to not pay attention, and I've had them jump in front of my creating small collisions just so they can give the flyer to the Korean next to me. The immunity seems to dissipate when I walk around with my girlfriend though. In fact, for some reason, I become a larger target for restaurant advertisements.

I live next to a University hospital, and during the warm weather (and sometimes cold) I see patients walking about like pictured above. Sometimes just to get some fresh air, smoke, or exercise. I'm used to it now, but in the summer when I first arrived I thought it was bizarre and that maybe they got out of the hospital without people knowing.

As a foreigner, I get stared at by older people. 

A lot.

You never really get used to that awkwardness.

I try not to laugh when I see women wearing heels in the snow and ice. The craziest is the women still trying to look sexy and wearing mini-skirts and heals in sub zero temperatures. Even crazier is students running in the snow with sandals. Ah, Korea!

It is a must-have to have attached to your cell-phone some sort of flair. Most of these are actually functional as well and serve as the subway pass, a USB, or the antenna for your cell phone to watch TV on it. I hate them and refuse to do it because I find them annoying and I usually like my phone to sit in my pocket comfortably.

All I can say is how true this is. Oh, and that if you are thinking about coming to Korea, you CAN get by on using charades. However, don't bother coming if you think this way: 

"I don't need to learn Korean, because I will never use it after I leave Korea." 

If you come to Korea, try to learn the language. If you're here just to make some money and not appreciate or try to understand the culture and people you'll be miserable and make people like me embarrassed to be associated with you.

I only know one person who isn't a teacher - and they're simply here because spouse is.

OK, last one for now...

I admit, I do this a lot. Sometimes I have a woman who is selling things door-to-door as well, and just ignore her. It's great to have the video intercom though to filter them out.
I just wish I could somehow hide from the other ultra-religious types in the ROK. Like some of my teachers, the guys on the streets that are super persistent, and the ones on the subway that are just plain annoying.

"Rocket Man"

I was sent a link to this site in which an ESL teacher and comic artist named Luke Martin posts his creations. Experience Korean culture from the eyes of just about every expat at his site: Roketship

Here are some of my favorites along with some of my thoughts on the subjects..

When going to E-Mart, the salespeople tend to yell at you to buy their goods. Plus I hate E-Mart because it is always so crowded.

Korean's always form lines in front of doors - or push in front of you so they can be the first one in or out said door. I've found myself waiting in front of subway or elevator doors in order to exit, only to find someone push there way in front of me so that they can get off first. 

(and they're not even in a hurry!)

On the subways salespeople will try to vend their items (usually crap). They are disruptive and loud, and I've never seen anyone buy anything from them. It is also illegal to do, and you are told to call the police if it happens - which it always does - and no one does.

Koreans rarely drink while eating (and I drink a lot of water when I eat). So you always have to say "Mool toe joosayo!" (More water please!). This cartoon is funny because I have a feeling when I go back home, I'm going to be speaking in broken English and making hand gestures out of habit.

Customer service people want to help me all the time, but it gets annoying quickly. Partially because half the time they can't speak English, but want to try. And also because they simply will not leave you alone. Particularly if you go shopping in the fashion districts where they will bargain with you, and compliment you to buy their goods.

 

Whenever I pass another foreigner it feels like there is a rule that you have to make eye-contact or smile because you a rarity -- and usually white. If I was back home I wouldn't be saying hi to every white person I saw, so why should I here? I think we're just all in the same place in life, and all experiencing the same things that you become used to making new friends on the basis of your ability to speak the same language. But it is still awkward even when we all feel the same way.

Couples wear the same clothes here. It's supposed to be cute. I refuse to do it, and my girlfriend gets kind of disappointed in me. My excuse is simple: "I can't wear the same things as you because the sizes are too small!" (plus I don't want to be THAT guy.)

This is basically how I learned to read Korean (mentally making symbols into pictographs). It says "Kimbap" which is basically cheap Korean sushi filled with veggies, crab, or even SPAM.

 My cell phone is the most advanced one I have ever owned (that's not saying much), but I don't know half of what it can do with most of the things to access are online and in Korean. Most Koreans own more advanced cell phones than I do, (where they watch TV, use as an mp3 player, or can text in Hangul (Korean) faster than I can speak!)

"Who Let the Dogs Out?"

Wow it has been a very quick week. I suppose time flies when you only teach 3 classes in a week! Students had final exams this week so they had half-days and Jordan and I only had to teach on Friday.

Due to the half-days, I had the opportunity to utilize my free time in more productive ways. On Tuesday, my co-teacher Kimberly escorted me to help me purchase a cell phone. I decided on buying from the LG store called OZ - a popular chain close to my apartment. With LG I didn't need to purchase a 2 year contract like you are forced to with the biggest chain, SK Telecom. You can also purchase pre-paid phones and add minutes, but it tends to be a hassle and I was limited to one cheap phone that looked like grandmothers probably used it. I also had the option of renting the phone, but I would need to travel to an LG office somewhere to do paperwork and other hassles, so I decided not to go that route. Instead, I purchased a pretty nice phone called "Sky" for $40 - Koreans get them free with plans, but as I was signing a 1 year contract, I had to purchase the phone. I've heard horror stories about foreigners buying cell phones as most store policies forbid them to sell to us white folk. I think it is because some people skip out on paying their bills when they leave. We foreigners also have to pay a registration fee of $30. The monthly plan is $13 a month, but I got up to 3,000 internet page views added for $6 a month (it's nice to be able to access weather, subway, and other info when traveling! Calls are about 5 cents a minute in $US and texts are about 2 cents each. Much cheaper than home. All in all, I think my monthly fees will only be about $20.

After getting the phone I offered to buy Kimberly lunch, but she refused and told me she had to treat me as she didn't get to yet and it was her obligation. I wasn't going to argue, but felt bad when she suggested we got to Outback. (it's very pricey for the area) and Outback in Korea isn't even close to the ones back in the States. I had a "steak" which was a large, slightly less compacted seasoned hamburger. The fries were excellent though, and we got onion rings - they were coated and fried in coconut, so it had a sickening sweetness to it after the second one. In keeping with the sweetness, they also served the typical bread, but the butter was flavored raspberry, mango, and peach - and they also brought out raspberry syrup, chocolate syrup, and blue cheese dressing. Kind of silly - but it was nice to have some blue cheese dressing, as I haven't seen it here yet. Kimberly had a seafood quesadilla - I tried it, it was pretty good and had octopus, shrimp, and squid in it. I have never heard of a seafood version, but they do have a beef one as well (which I will get next time I go).

I tagged along with Jordan on Wednesday after school to Itaewon or "Foreign Owned Korea". There were many westerners walking around as there is a military base right nearby. It is popular with tourists, but nothing to really write home about (but I will anyways). The main street was full of western restaurants, but the side streets were very unique and had an older feel of what Korea used to be like. The vendors everywhere were talking in English trying to get you to buy "very nice suit for you to be handsome", or a "pretty leather purse for girlfriend".

A main street view in Itaewon - note that sign on the right says "Transgender Club"

We found a foreign food market where I bought some overpriced treats. Kraft Mac and Cheese, Root Beer, and Cherry Coke! Later in the week Jordan and I made root beer floats for our Korean teachers. Some loved it, and none had ever had root beer. Others made a weird face and opted for the cherry coke floats instead.

Thursday it down-poured all day long. I'm sure all of you back home can sympathize because I've heard it has been one of the wettest summers you can recall in a while. Here when it rains hard - it rains HARD. The drops are bucket sized, and it doesn't rain down - it rains sideways. I brought my large umbrella (yes, I have 2) and I still got soaked. After work I swam out to meet up with Jordan and one of the music teachers. We went to the Indian restaurant, as we heard Koreans don't like the spice of Indian food and were testing our theory out on this poor girl! She actually enjoyed it - but to our defense, it is Korean-Indian food - not the same American-Indian food we get back home. The curry they use is pretty similar to the ones they use in Korean dishes.

I got to learn a lot about Koreans from the music teacher though. She was talking about how she used to work as a music therapist but was too stressed and not happy, and how she would rather teach. She commutes 2 hours EACH WAY to work at our school, but wants to move closer. She is my age, but like most Korean women, lives at home until she's married. Her family will move closer to school to make her happy as she is always tired from the commute and actually had an accident when she fell asleep while driving. She also discussed dating and relationships, and how you can find out a lot about a person by asking their blood type. I've never heard of this phenomenon. But apparently it is a way to tell personality. According to her, type O is the best, A is good and B is good too, but AB is not. She said a lot of crazy and psycho people are AB, so she won't date someone who is AB. (good thing I am B, so at least I stand a chance if that opportunity arises! hahaha) MikeR found a little article on this that explains it better. Click here to read.

Another thing about Koreans are their dating practices. Men are supposed to tell the girl where they are going and what they are doing. It is a society with more traditional gender roles, and this shows that "man has confidence". I argued with her on the practice though, and asked in broken basic English "What if woman no like restaurant? Bad date = bad boyfriend?" she said no, but the Korean women will tell the men that they are unhappy with a restaurant, but this can lead to fights and breakups. So my argument was "Why not ask the woman or let her choose which restaurant so everyone is happy?!" She didn't have a good answer besides the previous one.

Lastly, we discussed cheating. In Korea it is illegal to cheat on a spouse, and if a man/woman gets caught and the significant other catches them, they can call the police, but both the cheater and the "other man/woman" both get arrested. Interesting practice, but I don't think it curbs cheating - I think it just makes women not turn in cheating husbands because they are more of the providers and family income than the women here.

This brings up another topic. I needed a haircut, and asked Jordan where to go. He pointed out a building and said that this building (with a barbers pole) is where he goes and to go to the 4th floor. I wandered up to the 4th floor and there was a very dark room with a sign that said Sam's Barbershop. A woman answered clad is a very skimpy outfit. Apparently Barber Poles = "massage parlor" and most often the scorned upon kind. I found out later that the real salon that Jordan goes to is on the 3rd floor, but my issue is this: Why do they have prosecutable laws against cheating, but openly allow these massage parlors that don't even try to make it look like they are a reputable business like a barbershop. There was one barber chair in that dark room, many black lights and dark curtains and very little clothing. (and she wasn't even attractive!)

Friday after school was the Male Teacher Dinner somewhere out in Anyang. The restaurant was out in the middle of nowhere, nestled between two mountains with a comforting stream running right near the main building. The best part was we ate outside under large tarps along a little waterfall. The food was excellent. They served a large stewed chicken for me, and dog -- yes DOG, for everyone else. I kept telling them my sister has 4 dogs and she will be angry if I eat dog. They understand though. I asked what kind of dog. Golden retriever? Poodle? They said and I quote: "No, no, no Nick...not pet --- EDIBLE dog."All dogs go to heaven in Korea (after being boiled in a pot) but all dogs are not seen as pets only unlike back home.

Yep, that is dog! (poor poochie!)

Here is a lesson learned: When you try to be respectful of Korean custom and go shot to shot with 7 Korean men, you will lose. And besides that you will be completely trashed and have to be helped to your apartment by a rather thin Korean coworker half your size. They were so fun though, trying to teach me Korean, customs, and rules. Most of them were drunk as well except the driver (which is rare here), and we had a blast. The principal (who all the women teachers are afraid of) kept telling me "Nick very good friend" and wanted to have dinner with me and his daughter who is 23 and attending the University of Miami next year. Sounds like I'm either getting set up, or he wants me to give her tips before going to an American university. (Maybe Aunt Maureen can take her out sometime as I don't think Miami is too far from Ft. Lauderdale?)

Here are all the Korean male teachers that attended - 4 of them are PhysEd teachers, a Chinese writing teacher, a Korean teacher, and the principal.

YOU CAN SEE MORE PICTURES OF THESE EVENTS HERE

I'm still recovering from last night and dizzy spells from all the Hite beers, Soju and "Ginseng Mountain Wine" - aka alcohol from hell. I wouldn't feel this bad if there were some sort of carbs served with dinner. They have rice with every other dish in Korea, why not the day I decide to drink about 12 shots!